(It’s Not as Hard As You Think)
A lot of people ask me—a self-made millionaire/motivational social media influencer: “What’s a day in your life like? Could we, the humble masses, also adjust our dumb and busy schedules to become a master of productivity and optimization like you?”
I’m not going to lie. No pain means no stock gains and no fame. But if you have the drive to really turbo boost your life and supercharge your day, you too can bio hack your body and live your full, 1,000% potential.
First, you have to start your morning early. Stupidly, unnecessarily and inordinately early. I start my morning at nine pm. While the rest of the world is going to bed, I’m just getting started. I begin with a quick, ninety-minute meditation/mental vision boarding session followed by light weights and hot yoga.
Next, I’m out the door for my morning ten-thirty-pm-run while listening to an audiobook (nonfiction) at 2.5x speed. It’s dark out while I get some cardio in, but I enjoy watching everyone turn in while I’m just getting turned up. Turned up for what you might ask? Well, you don’t become successful by sleeping through the night at normal hours like the rest of those suckers chained to their 6-10 circadian rhythms, you become successful by waking up unnecessarily early and bragging about it to everyone you come into contact with.
Next, you need some cryotherapy. After my run, I plunge myself into a combination ice bath/cryo chamber. It’s actually an ice bath inside a cryo chamber at the bottom of a frozen lake I freeze myself in for like, a solid five minutes. If I pass out, a heart monitor notifies the local paramedics and only twice has the fire department had to come drag the lakebed searching for my super-enhanced, motionless body.
For breakfast, between the hours of eleven and midnight, I eat an entirely plant-based diet: Microgreens, spirulina, avocados, mushroom coffee, and vegan egg patties, followed by thirty or so supplements including ashwagandha, magnesium, fish oil, essential oils, and a proprietary blend of nootropics I paid to have designed by Dr. Andrew Huberman.
I get into the office at midnight. The janitor (Devon I think?) is always looking at me strange but it’s like, uh, that’s why you’re the janitor Kevin and I have the corner office. Sure, I might never see the sun from my corner office, but I’ve always found the sun to be tempting one to go outside and enjoy oneself. No thanks. You can’t enjoy yourself if you want to enhance your life.
No one else but me is in the office for the rest of the day, so I’m free to work as I please. It might be midnight here, but it’s already past lunch time in Dubai and Beijing!. Sometimes I accidentally text a friend at three-thirty in the morning and then I have to respond and say something like, “Whoops! Sorry Gary! I forgot that you are not up at 3:30 in the morning, as I am, right now.” Then I’ll text Mark W. Or Dwayne J. but they are also just starting their day, waking up and working out, so I understand why they never reply.
At four a.m. it’s time for lunch. I practice a form of 20-4 intermittent fasting which means I only eat for four hours a day and fast the rest. I follow my purely plant-based breakfast by an entirely raw, red meat diet for lunch. It’s messy, truly, and often I spend the next hour in the bathroom, but that’s just my system cleansing itself. I think this might be also why Dev or Kev is always giving me a strange, slightly disgusted look (of jealousy).
At seven o’ clock people begin filtering into the office as I’m on my way out. Haha! So long losers! Hope you enjoyed your arabica coffee and a good night’s rest! I’m already done with my day.
At eight a.m. I meet the fellas for a round of golf. They’re always trying to get me to drink a beer or even just have a hashbrown with them after, and saying things like, “We can see your ribs man.” Or, “Did you at least brush your teeth after eating a raw bison liver cosplaying Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant?” But that’s why they’re only millionaires, not billionaires.
After golf my day is almost done and honestly, I’m pretty wiped from getting up at nine o’ clock at night and so then I crash from noon until eight because even someone as hyper-driven as me understands the importance of eight hours of sleep.
Anyways, it’s not the schedule for everyone, I know. But it is the schedule that has gotten me this far and made me this successful. Oh, and also, my grandpa left me buckets of money.